My top 3 most embarrassing hospital moments

I’m spilling the beans on three of my most embarrassing hospital moments after 5 open-heart surgeries.

1. Post-Op Truth Bombs: Family Edition
Waking up from surgery is like stepping into a wacky dream. My post-surgery haze led to some unfiltered family truths – in other words, I told my dear kin to 'piss off.'

While it might not have been the grandest of entrances, it sure made for some great tales during family gatherings.

Who knew honesty was a side effect of anaesthesia?

2. Catheter Chronicles: Lessons in Bushwhacking
Post-op #4 I had the urge to pee, and panic ensued – how on earth was I going to do this?

Surprise! Turns out, I had a urinary catheter in place, complete with a Brazilian bikini wax. My initial reaction? Utter shock!

My lack of surgery-related knowledge led to a hairy situation, literally.

Note to self: open-heart surgery isn't just focused on your chest, they also go downstairs to make you comfy post-op, so do some trimming beforehand.

3. Bedside Blunders: The Great Bed Debacle
I was chilling in my hospital bed post-surgery, minding my own business, when a moment of epic vulnerability hit me and I had to poop.

So, I pressed the trusty nurse button, summoning help to gracefully exit the bed. But, no one shows up for what feels like an eternity. And just when the cavalry arrives to rescue me from bed captivity, I manage to, well, make my own sort of grand exit.

Yep, I'm talking about accidentally turning the sheets into an art canvas.

I got to sit in the chair and watch them clean it up. What a lesson in humility and humour!

Embarrassing Blunders Turned Epic Life Hacks

As embarrassing as these were, I learnt a thing or two.

It's More Common Than You Think: Embarrassing moments happen to everyone, even in hospital settings. Medical professionals have seen it all before, and they understand that it's a natural part of life.

Medical Professionals are Professionals: Doctors, nurses, and healthcare staff are focused on providing care and ensuring your well-being. They're trained to handle a variety of situations, including embarrassing ones, with empathy and respect.

Laughter is the best medicine: This has never been truer than when navigating the labyrinth of hospitals and health challenges. While these moments tested my poise, they also taught me that humour has the power to turn even the most awkward situations into stories for the ages.

After all, it's not every day that we can make a hospital bed the canvas for an unexpected masterpiece!

Vulnerability: The Superpower We Didn't Know We Had
Sure, these moments might have had me redefining the meaning of 'blushing,' but they also revealed our superpower: embracing vulnerability.

Living with a chronic illness means navigating a quirky world, where mishaps and laughter go hand in hand.

So, ask your family for forgiveness for what you might say under anesthetic, trim your pubes before major surgery, and expect the unexpected.

It's Okay… Sh*t happens.

PS

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