How Chronic Illness Redefines the Meaning of Choice

In today's modern world, we have endless choices. From the mundane decisions of what to wear or what to eat for breakfast to more significant choices like where to live, what career path to pursue, or whom to love, our lives are filled with an abundance of options. We can select from a multitude of cuisines at our fingertips, decide between streaming platforms for our entertainment, or even customise our experiences with personalised playlists and social media feeds.

Yet, amidst this sea of choices, there remains a stark reality for many of us living with chronic illness: What happens when we don't have a choice?

Living with chronic illness presents a unique set of challenges, often extending far beyond the physical symptoms themselves. One of the most profound struggles we face with chronic illness is the lack of choice in even getting the illness in the first place. We didn't choose this; we didn't do anything wrong to get it. Some of us were simply born with it, while others were dealt a genetic hand or simply fell victim to the luck of the draw. There was no choice in acquiring our illness at all.

For many of us, the journey of managing a chronic illness begins not with a choice, but with a diagnosis. Suddenly, the trajectory of our lives is altered, and we are thrust into a world where choices about our health are no longer solely our own. Medications, treatments, and lifestyle adjustments become necessary not as a matter of preference, but as a means of survival. The autonomy that others may take for granted is stripped away, replaced by a reliance on medical professionals and a healthcare system that often feels daunting and impersonal.

In the face of this lack of control, the notion of choice takes on a different meaning. It's not about deciding between the salad or the burger to keep ourselves healthy; it's about navigating a complex web of choices that can have profound implications on every aspect of our lives. It's about weighing the benefits and risks of medications, grappling with the side effects that may accompany them, and constantly adjusting to the ever-changing landscape of chronic illness.

Moreover, the external factors that contribute to health outcomes are often beyond our control. Financial constraints may limit access to necessary treatments or therapies. Discrimination and stigma surrounding certain health conditions can exacerbate feelings of isolation and emotional distress. And the unpredictable nature of chronic illness can make planning for the future feel like an exercise in futility.

I get it!

You’d think that through five open heart surgeries, umpteen catheters, and living with chronic heart disease for forty years I would have had my lot in life. But the universe doesn’t seem to think so. I’m still prone to COVID, strained muscles from the gym, nutrition deficiencies, and many other illnesses. Most of the time I try deal with it in my stride, but sometimes it really gets to me.

What I do when it all get a bit much

When I'm facing the harsh reality of not having control over my health due to chronic illness, it can feel like I'm drowning in a sea of emotions. From frustration to despair, it's a rollercoaster of feelings, and I've come to learn that it's best to address them head-on. Here are three strategies I use to help me navigate the choice paradox:

1. 'Why Me' Day: Yep, you heard that right. I give myself permission to have a 'Why Me' day. I set aside some time to really wallow in how crap it all feels. Acknowledge that it's not fair. Get angry, get sad, get frustrated – let it all out. Sometimes, I find that giving myself space to feel these emotions fully can actually help me move forward in a healthier way.
2. Talk to a Pro: Sometimes, I just need to spill my guts to someone who knows their stuff. That's where talking to a mental health professional comes in. They're like the friend who's always there to listen, but with the added bonus of having all the right tools and strategies to help you cope. I don’t want to wear my friendships down with all my complaining. Whether it's managing stress, dealing with grief, or just sorting through my thoughts, I know my therapist has my back.
3. Connect with Peers: You know what they say, misery loves company – but in a good way! I reach out to others who are going through similar struggles. Whether it's through online chat groups or local charities, connecting with people who understand what I’m going through can be a game-changer. Sharing experiences, swapping coping strategies, and just knowing I’m not alone can make a world of difference.

So, next time you're feeling like you're stuck in a no-choice zone, try some of your own strategies, or pinch these ones. It's okay to feel what you're feeling, and it's okay to ask for help.

Wrap Up

Living with chronic illness can feel like an uphill battle with no end in sight. You do all the right things – eat your veggies, hit the gym, prioritise your mental health – and yet, your health still decides to throw a curveball at you. Unlike those lucky folks who can make these choices without a care in the world, we're stuck in a frustrating cycle where even our best efforts sometimes don't make a dent in how crappy we feel. It's downright unfair and can leave you feeling like you're fighting a losing battle against your own body.

Navigating life with chronic illness often means finding ways to adapt and make the best choices possible within the constraints of our health. While we may not always have the luxury of unlimited choices, we can still choose how we respond to our circumstances. It's about making the most of the options available to us, finding creative solutions, and prioritising self-care and wellbeing. By embracing a mindset of resilience and flexibility, we can navigate life's challenges with grace and determination, finding strength in our ability to make the best of the choices we do have.

Remember, on those tough days, it's okay to indulge in a 'Why Me' day, to reach out to a mental health professional for support, or to connect with peers who truly understand what you're going through.

P.S.

Adulting Well was started to give people, just like you, more knowledge so you could make the best choices possible – even with chronic illness.

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