Why Your Coping Strategies Aren’t Working Anymore (and How to Fix Them)

If you’re living with chronic illness, you’ve probably built a handful of go-to coping strategies over the years. Maybe it’s rest days when your body needs a break, or distracting yourself with a book when pain flares up. For a while, these strategies may have been lifesavers—things you could rely on to get you through tough times.

But then, without warning, they stop working. What used to help doesn’t seem to have the same effect. You’re still exhausted, still in pain, still frustrated. So, what changed?

The Life Cycle of Coping Strategies

Coping mechanisms are like your favourite pair of shoes. When you first get them, they fit perfectly and feel comfortable. But over time, as they wear down, they don’t provide the same support or comfort. Eventually, you need to switch them out for something that fits better for where you are now.

The same thing happens with your coping strategies. Our bodies, minds, and circumstances change over time, and when you’re living with a chronic condition, those changes can be rapid and unpredictable.

Why Coping Strategies Fail?

When you first created your coping strategies, they likely addressed the symptoms or challenges you were facing at that time. But chronic illness is rarely predictable—it shifts, evolves, and throws new challenges your way.

Over time, your mind and body get used to the coping methods you’ve been using, almost like they’ve built up a tolerance. As a result, those once-effective strategies lose their power, and you’re left feeling like you’re back at square one.

Another reason is that coping strategies often focus on just one part of the picture—maybe they help distract you from the physical pain, but they don’t address the emotional toll. Or maybe they give your mind some relief but do little to help with the physical exhaustion that comes with chronic illness.

When My Coping Tools Stopped Working

Over the years, I unknowingly built a range of coping strategies over the years to deal with both my physical and mental health challenges.

For my body, I relied on strategies like pushing through the pain or fatigue. I’d tell myself, just keep going, and most of the time, I could manage. When it came to my mental health, seeing a regular therapist gave me a safe space to talk through my struggles.

For a long time, those strategies worked. They helped me keep going, kept me afloat.

But then, one by one, those strategies started to feel less effective. Pushing through no longer worked; in fact, it left me even more exhausted. My regular therapy sessions didn’t seem to help as much. I started to feel stuck. The methods that had gotten me through before weren’t enough anymore.

It was frustrating. I wondered if I was doing something wrong, but I wasn’t. I had just outgrown my approach.

The Problem with ‘Pushing Through’

One of the most common coping mechanisms people use is “pushing through.” You tell yourself to just keep going, to ignore the pain or fatigue, and get on with things. This can work in the short term, but over time, it leads to burnout.

Your body has limits. And when you’re constantly pushing past those limits without giving yourself time to rest and recover, it takes a toll. This might show up as increased symptoms, more frequent flare-ups, or even emotional burnout.

What Can You Do When Coping Strategies Stop Working?

When your old strategies start to fail, it’s not a sign that you’ve done something wrong. It’s just a sign that it’s time to refresh your approach. Here’s how to get started:

1. Reassess Your Current Approach
   Take a step back and evaluate what’s been working and what hasn’t. Are you still relying on old habits that no longer serve you? Do you find yourself using the same strategies over and over, hoping for different results? It might be time to let go of some of those worn-out methods.
2. Expand Your Collection
   Chronic illness affects both your mind and body, so it’s important to build strategies that address both. Consider incorporating new tools, like mindfulness or breathing exercises to manage stress, or gentle movement routines to help with physical symptoms. The key is variety—having multiple options means you can switch things up when one strategy isn’t cutting it.
3. Listen to Your Body
   This one’s tough, but crucial. When your body is telling you it’s time to rest, listen. If your emotions are running high, consider that they may be symptoms, too. Sometimes, flashes of anger or frustration aren’t just random—they could be your body’s way of telling you that it’s exhausted or in pain.
4. Be Open to Change
   One of the most powerful things you can do is accept that coping mechanisms are not one-size-fits-all, and they will need to evolve as you do. Being open to trying new strategies—even if they feel unfamiliar at first—can help you stay ahead of the changes in your body.

Building a Resilient Approach

Ultimately, coping with chronic illness is an ongoing process. What works today might not work tomorrow, and that’s okay. The key is to stay flexible and willing to adjust. Building an approach that grows and changes with you will not only help you manage your symptoms but will also give you the confidence to face new challenges as they come.

Once I recognised that my old strategies weren’t enough, I started building a more resilient collection of techniques—a combination of physical, mental, and emotional strategies that could evolve with my body’s needs. That’s when I realised I wasn’t just coping anymore—I was thriving.

Remember, it’s not about pushing through at all costs. It’s about learning when to push and when to rest, when to hold on to old strategies, and when to embrace new ones.

P.S.

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