I Kept Quitting Exercise… Until I Realised My Body Was Trying to Protect Me

⚠️ Reader Warning: This blog includes discussion of medical trauma and trauma responses. Please take care while reading and come back to it later if needed or talk to a mental health professional.

It started with a dream. As someone who's had five open-heart surgeries, I'm no stranger to medical trauma. But this one hit differently. I woke up gasping, heart pounding, after dreaming I was awake mid-surgery—unable to move, unable to speak. My chest felt tight, like I couldn’t shake the pressure.

That day, I kept feeling strange tugs near old scar lines, like something was hooked inside my body and being pulled. It wasn’t physical pain exactly—more like a deep, unsettling discomfort that wouldn’t let up.

It wasn’t until later, sitting with that heavy feeling, that it finally dawned on me: my body was reacting to a completely run-of-the-mill chest press I’d done the day before. A basic strength training move. Nothing dramatic. But my nervous system had interpreted it as danger.

What I was feeling wasn’t muscle strain. It was a trauma response.

When movement feels more emotional than physical

If you live with a chronic illness or disability, you already know exercise isn’t always straightforward. But something I didn’t realise for decades is how much medical trauma can complicate movement. Especially when the sensations of exercise mimic the sensations of past health events.

That tight chest? That racing heart? For me, those weren’t just signs of a workout. They were reminders of ICU monitors, breathlessness post-surgery, the sterile lights of the recovery room, and that awful fear that something had gone wrong.

What is medical trauma?

This term isn’t always talked about, but it matters. Medical trauma refers to the ongoing impact of distressing healthcare experiences. It might be surgeries, scary diagnoses, hospital stays, procedures where you felt powerless, or even just the repeated stress of ongoing treatment.

I’ve had more than 20 surgeries, and I’ve learned that trauma doesn’t always show up immediately. Sometimes it whispers through your body years later, especially when something triggers it—like exercise.

How exercise can bring it all back

Movement changes your body’s chemistry—heart rate, breath, muscles, temperature. It makes you feel things deeply. And for me, that was enough to send my nervous system into overdrive.

My body couldn’t tell the difference between safe movement and medical threat. That’s how trauma works sometimes—the past floods in and overwhelms the present.

And for years, I didn’t realise it. I kept thinking I just wasn’t coping or wasn’t trying hard enough. I even wondered if I was just too unwell to move. But really—my nervous system was just trying to keep me safe.

What it looked like for me

For decades, the most common experience I had was an overactive nervous system after even light movement. I’d feel jumpy, wired, and overstimulated for hours after a short walk or workout. Sometimes it made me more fatigued than before I’d moved, and I’d need the rest of the day to recover (and often the whole next day too). There were times I’d also feel detached or spaced out—like I wasn’t quite present.

Fatigue is a known side effect of my heart condition, so for a long time I assumed this was all just part of that. I didn’t realise my nervous system was staying switched on for too long after exercise.

Other experiences—like vivid nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and emotional overwhelm—came too, but in waves. They weren’t as consistent. They’d flare up after certain triggers, then ease off again.

It took me years to understand that the ongoing nervous system activation I felt was a sign my body didn’t feel safe—even when I was doing something healthy like moving. It wasn’t that I was doing anything wrong. My body just hadn’t felt safe for a really long time.

What I do now to help my body feel safer

I didn’t want to give up on exercise entirely—but I knew I couldn’t push through these feelings. So I started getting curious. I focused on finding ways to bring my nervous system back to neutral, and slowly reintroduce movement with more care.

Here are some of the things I use regularly:

🧠 Trauma therapy

Working with a trauma-informed psychologist helped me make sense of what my body was doing and why. I learned that none of this was a failure—it was actually a very human response. They also give me specific tools to heal.

If you're curious about how to find someone who fits your needs, I've shared some thoughts in a previous blog: How to Find a Mental Health Professional.

🛌 Yoga Nidra Deep Rest

This guided rest practice helps settle my nervous system. I do it on the days I exercise—not always immediately after, but sometime later in the day when I feel like my body needs extra support. It’s like giving my body permission to calm down again, and I have a rest and recharge moment.

I usually use free sessions on YouTube from Ally Boothroyd (Sarovara Yoga): youtube.com/@SarovaraYoga/videos.

✋ Tapping (EFT)

I tap gently on specific points while saying calming phrases. One that really works for me is: “I’m safe to move. My body knows I’m safe now.” It brings me back to the present. I’ve also found that tapping seems to help desensitise some areas of scar tissue and reduce that weird, internal tugging sensation I sometimes get around my chest.

🌬️ Breathwork

Most of the time, I use guided breathwork to help settle my nervous system—slow inhales and even slower exhales. It’s a simple way to remind myself that I’m not in surgery. I’m not in danger. I’m just here, moving.

But sometimes, when I feel particularly amped up or full of nervous tension, I actually do faster-paced breathwork instead. It helps move the energy through and out of my body so I can reset. I try to meet my body where it’s at that day.

I often use this free one on YouTube from SOMA Breath: Breathwork to Calm the Nervous System. It's simple, grounding, and helps bring me back to the present.

These might not be for everyone, but they’ve helped me reconnect with movement in a gentler way.

🧲 To Be Magnetic (Deep Imaginings)

Another tool I use is a platform called To Be Magnetic. It's a paid subscription, but they also offer a free podcast and a few free 'Deep Imaginings'—which are guided meditations focused on subconscious healing. I find the 'Safe Deep Imagining' especially helpful when I need extra support to feel grounded and safe in my body.

Sometimes I mix and match these tools, depending on what I need. I might do Yoga Nidra and tapping together, or use breathwork first to help release tension before settling into a rest practice. Stacking them like this often helps me feel more supported and makes it easier to ease back into my day.

Where I’m at now

Now that I understand what my body was really trying to say, everything has shifted. I train five days a week—sometimes strength, sometimes walking, sometimes just stretching—and I no longer see exercise as a battle. I have tools that help me notice what my nervous system is doing and respond with care, not panic. I can finally tell the difference between my body needing rest, and my nervous system being in protection mode.

It doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. But it feels more possible. More flexible. More human.

If anything in this blog feels familiar or brings up questions for you, it might be worth speaking with your GP or a mental health professional. They can help you explore whether trauma might be contributing to your experience, and what support could look like for you. You don’t have to figure it out alone.

P.S.

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