Medical Consent: When NO doesn’t mean no

Trigger Warning:

Before proceeding, please be aware that this blog contains discussions of medical trauma, including experiences of feeling powerless in medical settings. These topics may be triggering for some readers. If you are currently struggling with similar issues, we encourage you to prioritize your well-being and proceed with caution. Remember, you are not alone, and support is available. If you need immediate assistance, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. Take care of yourself first.

When NO doesn’t mean no

As a child, my life revolved around hospital visits, surgeries, and medical procedures. I became intimately familiar with the feeling of powerlessness that comes with having your body poked and prodded, often against your will.

One vivid memory stands out from when I was about six years old – standing on the hospital bed with my back against the wall, screaming "No" at the top of my lungs. I didn't want to get jabbed again. Well-meaning doctors, nurses, and others surrounded the bed, their faces blurred by my tears and fear. But despite my protests, my screams echoing off the sterile walls, I was grabbed by the foot, pulled down onto the bed, pinned down, and had the jab anyway.

I know that I needed whatever the jab was. All my hospital trips have been to keep me alive! There was no other choice. I don’t begrudge people for what they did. They were doing their job, and helping me live.

Growing up, I internalised the lesson that my "No" didn't hold much weight in medical settings. Despite my protests, doctors and nurses would proceed with their treatments, leaving me feeling violated and unheard. It was a harsh reality to accept, one that shaped my understanding of consent in ways I couldn't fully grasp until later in life.

As a teenage girl, I encountered a different narrative surrounding consent, particularly in the context of relationships. "No means no," they said, emphasising the importance of respecting boundaries and autonomy. Yet, I found myself grappling with conflicting emotions. How could I reconcile this mantra with my own experiences of feeling powerless in medical settings?

The disconnect between the concept of consent and my lived reality left me feeling confused and frustrated. It wasn't until I started on a journey of therapy and self-discovery as an adult that I began to unravel these complexities.

Through therapy, I learned to reclaim my voice and redefine what consent meant to me. I realised that true consent goes beyond a simple "yes" or "no" – it's about agency, respect, and understanding. It's about feeling heard and respected, whether in a medical setting or a personal relationship.

Reconciling my past experiences with the broader societal understanding of consent was a challenging process, but it ultimately led to profound growth and healing. I learned to advocate for myself, to assert my boundaries unapologetically, and to get the respect I deserve.

My journey with chronic illness has taught me invaluable lessons about consent, resilience, and the power of reclaiming my voice. It's a journey that continues to shape my understanding of myself and the world around me, reminding me that even in the face of adversity, my voice matters.

So, to anyone navigating similar struggles, know that you are not alone. Your experiences are valid, and your voice deserves to be heard. Let's continue to challenge outdated narratives and redefine what consent truly means – for ourselves and for future generations.

What You Can Do

If you find yourself resonating with my experiences, know that there is hope and support available. Here are some steps you can take to navigate your own journey:

1. Seek Help Through Therapy: Therapy can be a powerful tool for processing trauma and reclaiming your voice. A qualified therapist can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings, validate your experiences, and develop coping strategies to navigate medical trauma. Check out my blog on 5 ways to find a mental health professional.
2. Acknowledge This as Medical Trauma: It's important to recognise that what you've experienced is a form of medical trauma. Acknowledging this can help validate your feelings and provide a framework for healing.
3. Know That You Are Not Alone: You are not alone in your experiences. Many others have walked similar paths and understand the challenges you face. Reach out to support groups, online communities, or trusted friends and family members who can offer understanding and empathy.
4. Share Your Experiences: Sharing your experiences can be a powerful way to raise awareness and advocate for change. By speaking out, you not only validate your own experiences but also help others feel less alone in their struggles. Whether through writing, speaking engagements, or social media, your voice matters.

Remember, healing is a journey, and it's okay to take it one step at a time. You deserve support, understanding, and compassion as you navigate the complexities of medical trauma. Together, let's shine a light on this important issue and work towards a future where everyone's voice is heard and respected.

P.S.

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