Inside Princess Kate's Chronic Illness: Lessons We Can All Learn
Jun 16, 2024If you have any kind of chronic illness or have had a massive health even in your life, you can probably relate to Catherine (Kate) Middleton, Princess of Wales. I've intentionally avoided the media buzz around her situation, but what I do know has been gnawing at me for months. Frankly, the way the media—and let's be honest, some of the public—have handled it is beyond disappointing.… and it makes me angry.
So yes, this blog might come off a bit ranty, but it's also about drawing out crucial lessons from her experience that we can all relate to when living with chronic illness.
Lesson 1: Communicate when you are ready
Princess Kate doesn’t owe you or me anything when it comes to when or how she explains her health situation. I know how hard it was to explain that I was having my 4th and then 5th open heart surgeries. Now imagine being Princess Kate, where you’re trying to wrap your head around a serious diagnosis and treatment options, and having to worry then about not only explaining it to your kids and family… but the ENTIRE WORLD!!
Far out, give the woman a medal or something. I completely stuffed up communicating my 4th open heart surgery, and still don’t always explain my lifelong incurable chronic illness well (despite 4 decades of practice). The lesson here is clear: communicate on your terms, not on anyone else's—especially not the media's.
Lesson 2: Say how much you want
I absolutely love how Princess Kate hasn’t disclosed what type of surgery she had or the type of cancer she has. It’s none of our bloody business. And you know what, you don’t have to disclose your specific illness either! It’s literally the law in Australia that you can present your workplace with a medical certificate that states you are too unwell to work, but you don’t have to share exactly what your unwell with. Now, there are some instances where you’ve got to fess up, like if your condition affects your ability to do your job or causes a safety issues.
The lesson here is to know your rights, and only disclose what you want to. Check out more details of how much you need to share here: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/talking-to-your-employer-about-illness
Lesson 3: Own it!
In saying this, I strongly advocate for owning your situation, the good, the bad, and the ugly! Whenever I get a new boss or colleagues, I tell them I have heart disease. But I admit that I often skip the part where I also have Porphyria, which is a second incurable chronic illness I have that makes me allergic to the sun. It just sounds ridiculous to explain… but I’ve digressed.
While Princess Kate hasn’t shared the specifics of her cancer and treatment, she is sharing the odd statement that gives an insight into life with cancer. Like this one a few days ago, where she said “…there are good days and bad days. On those bad days you feel weak, tired and you have to give in to your body resting. But on the good days, when I feel stronger, you want to make the most of feeling well”.
I’d call that Owning it!
Lesson 4: Respect Privacy, Always!
I’m applaud how the Palace hasn’t leaked the details of her cancer or treatment. And your workplace shouldn’t leak anything you share with them either. Whatever you share with your workplace is protected under the Privacy Act, meaning anyone you tell can’t just go round telling others without your consent.
I know we’re not working in a Palace, but it is a huge lesson on protecting someone with a young family’s privacy. I’m sure a few workplaces could take a leaf from the Palace’s example here.
Lesson 4: Your journey isn’t a Teaching Moment
Yes, I get that I’m writing a blog about lessons to learn from Princess Kate’s experience, and then saying it isn’t a teaching moment. But hear me out…
It’s not Princess Kate’s job to educate the public on life with cancer. Its our job to go and do our own research about how to best support someone going through that. If you’ve done your homework and you still don’t know how to support someone, ASK THEM. Rocket science right. Just ask them ‘What can I do to help’. And if you’re on the receiving end of that questions, be honest and try give them clear things to do.
Lesson 5: Protect your kids
I don’t have kids, so I can’t even begin to comprehend how Princess Kate is managing caring for kids and protecting them from the relentless press in the UK. I assume she has help around the home and with caring for her kids. But that doesn’t mean she hasn’t had to have incredibly sensitive and difficult conversations with them about what she is experiencing. Not to mention trying to educate them on what they can and can’t say at school. It makes complete sense to me why she chose to wait until the school holidays to disclose that she wasn’t well - she was protecting her kids.
If you’ve got kids and you’re trying to juggle it all, without an entire staff on hand to help, then my heart truly goes out to you. You are my hero!
Lesson 6: Partners are Carers Too
Oh, and let’s not forget Prince William! His wife is very unwell, the relentless UK press are hounding him, and his dad has cancer too so he has to step up in the family business. Yeesshhh that a lot! But there he is, smiling for the cameras, shaking hands with the who’s who of world leaders, and fobbing off questions about his wife, kids, and dad. Bloody hell, the poor bloke. I’m not saying that his staff aren’t helping to ease the load, but you gotta feel for him.
Partners and carers are always the unsung heroes. They are the ones who get up at all hours to help you with simple things like rolling over, and they keep working to bring in money to pay the bills, do the chores, and make sacrifice after sacrifice to help the one they love. It’s never an easy situation, and my hat goes off to all the caregivers out there.
Wrap up
Princess Kate's experience highlights some powerful lessons about living with chronic illness, privacy, and the importance of support systems. Her story serves as a reminder that we all deserve compassion and respect, whether we're battling a health condition in the public eye or in our personal lives. Let's take a page from her book: communicate when we're ready, share only what we're comfortable with, own our journey, and support each other with empathy. If we can do that, we'll not only better navigate our own challenges but also create a more understanding and supportive community for everyone facing similar battles.
P.S.
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